Healing is Becoming

So yesterday, during a conference, the presenter asked one question:

"What is your superpower outside of the work that you do?"

As the presenter talked about the roles and identities of caregivers like myself, she mentioned how we tend to hide behind what is happening to us instead of recognizing what is happening for us.

I was actually about to contribute what I thought my superpower was, but before I could, the presenter called on me. LOL.

What she did not know was that while I was sitting there trying to think of an answer, I was realizing my superpower in real time.

"I love to write."

Like... it hit me. It really hit me.

I write blogs. I share them. I post them.

I have one central place for them, which is my website. I will throw advertisements up on my social media platforms, but at the core of it all, I write blogs.

So let me catch you up on this current journey of mine.

Although yesterday was amazing, it also exposed a lot of emotions, a lot of feelings, and a lot of transitional insight.

I saw colleagues from my previous employer. Yes, I spoke to them, but I moved with the mindset that if I was seen, I would act accordingly. I already had my speech prepared because nobody really knows why I left. Everybody has assumptions.

But the truth is simple.

My season was complete.

This transition was about recognizing that my season was done.

And honestly, I would encourage you to recognize when you have done what you came to do.

Hold on. Someone is walking by.

Okay, I am back.

I am walking my dog, and I want my blogs to be as real as they are supposed to be. So yes, I am capturing this in real time.

Anyway, back to what I was saying.

You have to recognize when your season is over.

One thing I recognized was that this was a transition period for me. And this time, I handled it differently.

Listen, the old version of me would have had a whole fit.

And when I say a fit, I mean anxiety, worry, questioning everything.

Did I make the right decision? Did I hear God correctly? Am I just emotional? Am I messing this up?

A whole spiral.

But this time?

This time I moved with peace.

You know how we quote the scripture about God giving us peace that surpasses understanding? Philippians 4:7.

I think we really need to lean into what that actually looks like.

Because honestly, the peace I had during this transition cannot even be explained properly. I could not explain it if I tried.

All I know is this:

I was transitioning while still living life in real time.

As far as my previous employment goes, I pretty much knew a month ahead of time that I was leaving. But during the preparation for that transition, I ran into people I had not seen in over 10 years. And trust me, they definitely had not seen this version of me either.

At the same time, I was still navigating family situations, emotional situations, and healing situations. I was still living day to day. Still handling responsibilities. Still dealing with life.

And yet... it did not pull me into the spiral I used to know.

I did not respond out of old wounds. I did not respond out of fear. I did not respond out of a fragile mindset.

Oh wait. There is a bunny in my pathway.

And of course, I need to take a picture before my dog scares it.

Okay, I am back again.

As I was saying, I did not respond to this transition through my old identity.

This new healing era can be scary. It can be uncomfortable. And honestly, it can trigger emotions you are not used to feeling.

But I think that is one of the biggest takeaways from healing.

Healing is becoming.

Because what healing exposes is also part of the journey.

This used to be the type of season where I would be emotionally bleeding everywhere.

But now?

There has been such a peace in this transition that even my identity feels different.

I am moving different. Breathing different. Responding different. Positioning myself different.

I am noticing things about myself that, truthfully, were probably always there.

But years of doubt, low self-worth, limiting myself, and ignoring my identity covered those things up.

So to me, it feels new.

But to the people who truly see me, the real ones, they are saying:

"Where have you been this whole time? We have been waiting for you."

And honestly, that has caught me off guard more than anything.

People saying, "We have been waiting for you."

Whew!

This will definitely be a Part 2... maybe even a Part 3, because this journey is still unfolding.

I cannot fully release what is on the next horizon yet. Just know, I am definitely cooking in the background.

And as I am allowed to share, I will.

And if I stay private about certain things, it is because everybody does not need access to your garden while you are growing your fruit.

You can have that one for free. 😉

Have a good one.

Thanks for reading. We will talk soon.

Sonia out.