A Mother's Day to Remember: Parenting Past 18 with Prayer, Patience & Purpose

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” – Proverbs 31:25

To say the least, my daughter is amazing! Not many will understand just why I go so hard for her—especially as she approaches year 20. My generation stressed that at 18, you were grown and the raising was done. I beg to differ and will never agree with that.

Since she turned 18, my role shifted—from raising to coaching. And even that comes with care, because many from my generation (Gen X) confuse “advising” with simply telling our kids what to do. I see so many parents still trying to control, not recognizing that their kids are people too—with the same emotional setup as us. They want them to be grown, but when they speak up or push back? Suddenly it’s “stay in a child’s place.”

Parents... you can’t have both.

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Not Done at 18

It hasn’t been easy navigating societal norms while embracing the empty nest (especially as a one-child parent). Nor is it easy watching them make reckless choices. I’ll be honest—I don’t agree with everything my daughter does. But I’ve learned: God is still in control.

Without Him and His sometimes-silent guidance, I’d be running up walls. In this transition, I’ve learned to pray more, be quiet more, and be patient more. And those three alone have been life lessons that I never thought I’d master.

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God in the Gaps

My daughter doesn’t fit the societal mold—and that brings its own set of challenges. I’ve felt the guilt. The spiritual pressure. And no, I’m not over here preaching “just give it to God and it’ll all work out.” I’m saying: I’m working my faith. Daily. Asking Him: “How do I parent this young adult in this kind of world?”

Gen X didn’t have the resources this generation does. These kids are being exposed to adult matters in elementary school. We can’t keep saying, “Life will teach them eventually.” Eventually is already tomorrow.

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When Parenting Hurts

As I reflect on this Mother’s Day, this one hits different. My mother’s been gone 4.5 years. In that time, I’ve had to navigate suicide attempts, sexual assault trauma, mental illness, academic stress, and my own gaps in parenting.

I was raised on “you’re grown at 18—but still act like a child.” No wonder I was angry and confused. I made my own reckless choices without guidance, and often felt forced to do it their way—or not at all. And if you know me, you know: I’m not a “do it your way” kind of woman. Respectfully.

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The Daughter God Trusted Me With

So here’s what I’ve realized: My daughter is me. She’s wise, outspoken, stubborn, and sometimes reckless. But she’s the one God trusted me with—and that means I need His direction to raise her. If I repeated the madness I was raised with, I wouldn’t have the kind of daughter who honors me the way she does today.

And no, I can’t even describe it. The goodness she’s shown me over the last 4.5 years is beyond words. Today is special not because of what she did—but because she wanted to do it for me.

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I Choose Healing

I pray mothers and daughters heal, so they too can have that agape kind of love—here on Earth. I may not have taught her everything right, but what I did teach, she does with love.

Some people don’t understand our dynamic. They think there’s no structure. I beg to differ. If you knew what I had to overcome, you’d see: the broken things? I chose to fix them.

I chose to heal so she can heal.

I chose to let go so she could fly.

I chose God’s plan so she could see the goodness of the land.

I still don’t agree with everything she does—but I stand firm on God’s promise over her life and mine. Happy Mother’s Day – May 2025

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Call to Action:

If this blog touched your heart, share it with a fellow mother or daughter. Let’s heal aloud—together.